Cure for a Sweet Tooth

You know when you haven't had chocolate in a while and you get cravings like no tomorrow?  I mean you turn into a crazy killer on the loose about to murder some warm melted bliss.  Well you have so much that you are passed out on the floor with a tummy ache and chocolate all over you face and hair.  This is the point where you don't want to look at another piece of candy for months.  Well this serial dater has a bit of a tummy ache.

When I started in the dating world I was this optimistic bubbly girl excited about the magic of true love and fairy tales.  Now dating is starting to feel like work.  I have become immune to excitment over a date, a cute guy or even a sweet gesture.  First dates are easy.  You can charm any guy on a first date and have a romantic evening.  The trouble is holding onto that initial spark. 

For all you guys out there...the 3 day rule was made up by a guy who is 40 and still lives in his parent's basement.  DON'T FOLLOW IT!!!  It will build suspense but also leave the girl saying "whatever...I am over it."  If you truly like a girl don't be afraid to tell a girl you enjoy her company and can't wait to see her again.  This will make her think about you without wanting to throw her phone against the wall.  Now don't text her "what are you doing?" three times a day but a nice good morning or how are you is always appreiciated. 

So not to worry avid followers, I am not giving up serial dating.  It would just be nice to go on a second date once in awhile.  So I am sure I will want sweets again soon...for now I am going to do chocolate lite but will have that craving again I guarantee it!

Date #5: Super Jew 5000

I finally decided to make my parents happy and date a male from the tribe of our ancestors…I dated a Jew!  We met at a Jewish frat party, which a guy invited me to in my accounting class because he said I needed to meet a nice Jewish boy.  I swear no matter who you are, if you are Jewish you turn into a matchmaker wanting Jewish babies to be created.  So I was at the party and talking to every guy trying to figure out first of all if Moses was their homeboy and second if they were worth getting to know.  I finally came across a 6’2 cutie that had a Mohawk, which was clearly growing out, a huge smile and a friendly demeanor.  Throughout the night I was making the rounds and somehow ended up talking to him again and again.  So with more hinting then I would have liked, he asked for my number.  For all you guys out there if a girl keeps smiling like a teenager around you and plays with her hair a lot, ask for her number, she is clearly hinting that she wants to go out with you and knows you will feel intimidated if she makes the first move.  Anyway we went out and it was fun but nothing special enough where I could see a future but I thought we could still be friends.  He ended up being just like Moses and would not take no for an answer and I ended up being convinced, somewhat afraid the plagues would start, that I could actually really like this guy…. this is when yet another mistake was made.  OY VEY!!  I went into a Disney princess movie singing original songs about true love and happily ever after when I should have realized one simple thing. 

MEN AREN’T PERFECT!!  Even if you have the most amazing romantic storybook date, be careful not to start planning your wedding and home décor quite yet.  Don’t confuse being sweet with being a perfect match; instead look at all aspects of the date whether good or bad.  Yes he may be tall, dark and handsome with a great sense of humor but he is also afraid of commitment and refuses to hold your hand in public.  These things can be turned around but it is not your job to fix every man that has an issue.  Truly analyze what you want and don’t settle because you are lonely or haven’t been held in awhile.  Trust me a shumk is not worth the schlep!

So here are some tips…. if you really like a guy delete his number from your phone right after the date.  No this doesn’t make you a female dog or means you don’t care…it is saving you from embarrassing yourself by making excuses why he is not texting you so you can text him even more.  This way if he doesn’t contact you, you know it wasn’t meant to be and you can get out with you dignity in tact.  Also don’t take it personally if you don’t ever hear from Mr. Wonderful.  It is not you, it’s him…yes that is not just a line…it’s true.  Sometimes no matter if you have the looks of Megan Fox and the personality of Drew Barrymore, if a guy is not ready to have a steady girl in his life, the relationship would go down hill anyway.  So keep your head held high and know that you are a smart, strong woman and you are sexy enough to be a serial dater.  After all the best remedy to being ignored is to be wined and dined by a new cutie.  So no I have not given up on finding my perfect sexy Jew but for now I am open to having fun with the goyim…at least until the family starts to realize they need some little additions to the tribe…thank Adonai I am only 21…MAZEL TOV!

Single on V-Day

That day is finally here…the day of red and pink roses, chocolates, oversized teddy bears and mushy love songs….it is Valentine’s Day.  Also known as annual splurge day or the day created by the greeting card companies for revenue.  Either way it is a day that creates the perfect romantic setting if you have a special someone and brings even more awareness to your love life if you are single.  So for all you single ladies out there, put away the Ben and Jerry’s and celebrate the fact that you are completely free to do whatever you want when ever you want.  So instead of scrambling for a date, know that as a serial dater you can get a date whenever you want.  With that in mind this valentines day I am going to forgo letting a random date schmooze me and I am going to see a movie with my girls!  It is the ultimate revenge on a pointless holiday.  I am going to look hot and say that for the one day where having a date is everything, I will be Miss Independent and that is the true nightlife of a serial dater.

Key to maintaining a dating status

To anyone wanting to embark on the strenuous and exciting journey of serial dating be forewarned that this road may be a lonely one.  I know being this sophisticated woman about town is the ideal life with glamour, amazing clothes and fancy drinks with ridiculous names, but at the end of the day none of those will make you matzo ball soup when you get sick.

So key of wisdom #1…don’t be afraid to say “I need my mommy.”  I promise wanting someone to give you a hug and tell you how stupid your actions are is not sissy, but a lie detector and Snuggie all rolled into one complete package.  Not only do you get some humble pie when having to admit someone else is right, but also you get the loving teddy bear that will never leave your side. 

Key of wisdom #2…get a best friend of the opposite sex.  I am not talking about a friend who you occasionally make out with when you are drunk, although those are nice sometimes.  No I am talking about an I need your advice, I want to eat like a pig, I don’t care if you see me without makeup friend.  You need a best gay!  I mean it!  Think of any great team out there….Grace has Will, Mercedes has Kurt and Snow White has seven little men…all you need is a bestie that bats for the other team to complete you dating trifecta.  If you still aren’t convinced imagine a fashion guru, boy shopper, fake date, sensitive cuddle buddy who is extremely blunt, won’t have a motive to get into your pants (at least not while you are wearing them) and will always notice what you wish a straight guy would.  Trust me, if you are ever feeling down go to a gay bar and you will be getting a slew of “girl you look fierce” and “I would so go straight for you” all night long.  Have no fear serial daters and aspiring serial daters out there, follow these 2 keys and you will be on your way to becoming a Sex in the City gal in no time!!!

Date #4: Downfall of a serial dater

The number one rule of serial dating is never ever, NEVER EVER get attached. All of the sudden the butterflies come in and you turn into a clingy pre pubescent girl who just got told a guy likes her for the first time. This sucks, trust me. It is best when dealing with the art of dating to never get that excited after a first date. Even if he looks like your favorite Ken doll growing up and has the charm of George Clooney, become to into him and he will split faster than your brother can rip off Ken’s head.
Meet Kevin, a 32-year-old teacher and photographer who is easy on the eyes and has the heart melting dimples that seem to be my kryptonite. We went out on a date and I wasn’t expecting too much but low and behold it was one of the best dates ever. We first went to an Asian restaurant, I say Asian because I am not sure if it was Chinese or Vietnamese, etc., which was delicious. We actually ordered almost the same meal, which is a clear sign from cupid that we are compatible. Then we decided to go to a movie, which is sweet, and then he said he wanted to see “No Strings Attached” which is even sweeter! I mean what guy actually enjoys chick flicks and is straight! I was sold and if that wasn’t enough while waiting for the movie we went to my favorite coffee shop and played cards for 2 hours!! The night ended with a sweet kiss and the hope of another magical meeting in the works soon…this is when I realized my downfall. I started to become the smitten stereotype you think only exists in movies. I became the dorky, fashion less, awkward girl that I spent all of high school and most of college thus far trying to steer clear of. This is when my subconscious decided to pay me a visit and I will graciously share that advice with all of you females readers out there.
So for all you ladies out there that would rather be the one saying “it’s over” rather than being stood up follow this simple tip. To date a man, date like a man. Confused are you? Well when you think of a guy dating he wants what is unobtainable and will settle for what is in front of him until the Greek goddess is his. The main point to be a successful serial dater is merely to not care. Sounds too easy to be true but it is the one thing that puts us on Venus and them on Mars. So for once in my life I am going to follow my own advice and cest la vie. I am a free spirit with fun and carefree drive on the mind and I am about to light up this town.

Date #3 Vegan Chapstick

What is the best remedy to get over a boyfriend? My strategy was by completely staying away from the male sex altogether. Yes, I had my moment of curiosity, a fixation on a different set of curves, a liking for something sweet. In the words of Katy Perry, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”


I met the most adorable and intriguing woman I had ever laid eyes on at a coffee shop. She was flirtatious, feminine and had that edge that just make you want to know more. She was my invitation into a whole new world, the world of the vegan cuties that liked Katy’s song too. I was like a kid that took a trip to New York and went into the incredible 3-floored M & M wonderland store for the first time. All I could say was WOW! I felt like I was being accepted no questions asked. All of the sudden being her arm candy made me the desirable female on everyone’s mind. She made me feel worth something, like I didn’t have to dress up or have perfect hair to be sexy! Just when I thought I could go without the male race forever, I realized men and women aren’t as different as I was hoping. She suddenly stopped texting me and I found out through facebook again that she had a new girlfriend. Just my luck…thanks facebook for crushing my hopes and dreams…I guess I am straight after all.

Date #2 Mr. Invisible

I finally said yes to go on a date with a guy my age!  He seemed sweet and adorable...plus he was a business major so I knew he was smart!!  So I was supposed to meet him in front of the student union but he didn't show up...back to older guys!

Date #1: Hurricane Hands

This one started as something out of Cinderella.  He was my childhood friend who had come back to confess his undying love for me and romanced me until I was in a bubble of fairy dust.  I mean who doesn’t have the fantasy of meeting up with your childhood friend later in life once you have gone through the awkward phases of braces, bad fashion, bad odors and crazy hormones.  You can come back super hot and walk around saying “what now bizznatch!!!” to everyone who called you anything but sexy earlier in life.  So he took me to a wonderful restaurant and we had a steak dinner with baked potatoes and some wine.  I don’t care if that makes me less lady like but the way to a girl’s heart in my opinion is a nice steak.  It was the perfect romantic evening…the conversation flowed, he was as adorable as ever and I think I ate with my mouth closed…absolute perfection.  We left the restaurant, got into his car, drove back to my place and my heart was beating anticipating a soft, sweet goodnight kiss.  I definitely got more than I bargained for because he had hurricane hands.  For those of you who are not familiar with this term, imagine a good kiss…his hand is on the small of your back, maybe running his fingers along your arm as your hands are around his neck.  Now imagine his hands running all over your back, neck, legs, face in 0.2 seconds….you literally feel like you are entering a windstorm.  Thank goodness I have a good amount of strength and was able to escape the car of doom. 

This just proves that the perfect guy on paper can be ruined with the lack of kissing knowledge…on to the next one…

The Revelation of Letting Go

"You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need"

Somehow this is easier said than done but it is more true than any other fact in life.  We will always go for what we want first.  Whether it is the new laptop, the new dress or the hot guy...if it is in front of us we for some reason hear it begging us to buy, wear or date it.  But what we don't realize is the need for it.  The fact that we already have a working laptop, a closet full of dresses and the hot guy has nothing in common with you.  Instead of looking at things as new desires, look at them as chemicals.  Putting the chemicals in that your body needs like positive people, good music and self esteem are our needs.  Now filter out the bad chemicals like poor company, abusive relationships and needing acceptance and you can finally have a healthy purpose in life. 

At this point I feel like I have finally gotten off the roller coaster, I am still in that throw up, nausiated phase, but at least it is over with.  I can finally start to heal!  Keep your eyes open becasue with this new outlook the serial dater is on the loose and ready to start living!

Lies Lies Lies

So if the suspense of why I was blocked is killing you...i have answers!  Turns out my ex is in a new relationship...I know it is shocking!!  Just 4 days ago I had a phone conversation with him with him telling me how he is still figuring himself out and is so overwhelmed with everything in his life.  I guess a new girl to lead into a sea of romantic bliss takes a lot of time...especially when you have to think at the same time how you are going to mess it up.  What happens when the best thing you ever had is replaced with someone who is starting a journey with him, only to figure out he was telling a younger version of you he wanted her one week ago.  Good luck future ex...with this roller coaster you will need it!

Given the Boot

He blocked me on Facebook...really now?!  I mean of all things someone could do to say, "hey I am done with you" or "we need to move on" but blocking me on Facebook!!?  I mean how old are we...well how old is he...this just shows no matter what age, they are still a douchebag!  AHHHH!!!!

You know as much as I finally get the hint now, I still remember the first time I knew I had fallen for him.  It was my second week in town and I was hinting all over the place about how I had never been to Lake Tahoe and was dying to go.  He picked me up in the early afternoon on a beautiful August day with an umbrella and picnic basket in tow.  Everything in the basket was carefully picked out and preparred to guarantee I would enjoy it.  The water, even for August, was ice cold and so we held on to each other the entire time to keep some warmth.  Then we layed on the sand in each other's arms watching the sunset...It really doesn't get anymore fairy tale than that.  At that point I knew I would do anything for this man because I saw just how special and unique he was.  The funny thing about wanting someone so bad is you never prepare for them not wanting you back, you just fall deeper and deeper.  Part of me would give anything to go back to those early days when I was so blissfully happy but that's the funny thing about life, you can't go back only learn from it and move on.

In the famous words of Forrest Gump..."life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Well I have done the incredibly sweet white chocolate and the popular milk chocolate so I think it is time to sink my teeth into some bitter, yet irresistable dark chocolate bliss! Watch out boys, I am back in full swing and with a sweet tooth for desire!

The ship had officially sailed

I am strong...I am strong...I AM STRONG!!! somehow saying it over and over again will make it true. It is the end of a saga, the roller coaster romance, the mystical unicorn hunk. I can't believe I finally did it! After 5 months of wonderful seduction, followed by being stood up, followed by being sucked back in to the sweet kisses, followed by being cancelled on 5 minutes before meeting. It is all over for good! I finally realize I deserve better and now the real dating can begin...watch out world because the serial dater is coming out on the town and everyone better watch out because her bark is seductive and her bite is addicting.




xoxo ToGood



haha just kidding...but you have to admitt is it a hell of a tagline

Becoming a Serial Dater

How is the best way to get over an ex? This was the exact same question I asked myself laying in my bed alone 2 months after my boyfriend broke up with me.  Yes it has taken 2 months for me to even propose the question of moving on.  Trust me I am not proud of it but it isn’t something that happens overnight and after all it was a death so I had to go through the grieving process, right? No, I am wrong, I am just making excuses because I am still in love with my ex.  Shit, I sound absolutely pathetic, I need to embark on a new journey of getting my mind off of the handsome piece of man that keeps luring me back into his charming web of passion.  I need to date.  Not just one guy, but all guys.  It no longer can matter if they are hot or successful or wise beyond their years, any guy is fair game.  I promise you there is a method to my madness.  I haven’t been able to pick Mr. Right going according to my list of credentials or my past records, so by dating all over the map, I will end up running into Mr. Right without even knowing it…I hope. 

The Ex

The storybook romance, the click flick that every girl wishes they could have, the knight in shining armor and yet the devil in disguise.  I moved to Reno Nevada to go school and get as far away from home and constant reminders of high school drama, crappy friends and douche bag guys as I could.  So I get off the plane in Reno with my mother and my guitar in tow excited to have a whole new scene of hot available men at my fingertips.  Obviously with this being my first time away from home and in a new city I had the streets are paved with gold fantasy.  Anyway we get off of the plane and drive to the hotel in which we will be staying while getting acquainted with this small city before moving into my dorm.  I am from Pasadena, CA so anywhere smaller than a huge city is small town to me.  We finally pull up in the rental car which we got lost 2 times because enterprise GPS systems hate me and I get out of the car to help with the bags thanking the lord the journey was over, if only I knew that when the valet guy turned around a whole new journey would begin.  Meet Jason, a 35-year-old valet from Reno who was the opposite of my type and yet he was the most intriguing individual I have ever laid eyes on.  He had the valet uniform on, a baseball cap and the most adorable dimples I had ever seen (except for Mario Lopez but that is a whole different story).  We casually chatted as he helped me with my bags and then he disappeared into the sea of cars like a rare unicorn in Narnia.  I just want it to be known that I was 20 and had no clue how old he was at this point…so stop judging me!

The Ex-ecution

The next morning the plan to get all the stuff to make my half of my dorm room as chic as possible is set into motion.  My mom and I get downstairs at about 9:30am looking quite fabulous and all of the sudden a valet guy, clearly not Jason, approaches us, takes out ticket and starts running to get our car.  A couple minutes later our car emerges and so does Jason.  I didn’t realize the valet service became a team effort but I was willing to go with it.  Jason walks up to me with a clear agenda sticks out his hand and says, “I don’t want you to think I am being to forward which is why I am doing this in front of your mom, but here is my number in case you need anything.” Then he slips this bright yellow luggage tag in my hand with his name and a phone number.  I smiled said I would hold onto it and chucked it in my purse clearly not caring if it got lost.  Heck, even as adorable as he seemed to be I was in a new city and single and really to goddamn mingle.  So I went on with my day until fate stuck its nose into my business. 

The Fate Monster

So we went on our way to continue our adventure of buying cute yet sensible items for my dorm at Target.  I swear the Target was on the run from the cops because it was the hardest thing to find and once again with the GPS hatred of college girls we were on our own.  So we finally made it there and realized we had no clue where we were or how to get back.  All of the sudden my mother had a brilliant plan of using the number I had in my purse and tried to avoid.  So I called and waited for the last ring when he finally picked up.  I got directions from him and then my mother had another brilliant plan to invite him to dinner to thank him for his assistance.  He obviously accepted and this is where the roller coaster begins.