I finally decided to make my parents happy and date a male from the tribe of our ancestors…I dated a Jew! We met at a Jewish frat party, which a guy invited me to in my accounting class because he said I needed to meet a nice Jewish boy. I swear no matter who you are, if you are Jewish you turn into a matchmaker wanting Jewish babies to be created. So I was at the party and talking to every guy trying to figure out first of all if Moses was their homeboy and second if they were worth getting to know. I finally came across a 6’2 cutie that had a Mohawk, which was clearly growing out, a huge smile and a friendly demeanor. Throughout the night I was making the rounds and somehow ended up talking to him again and again. So with more hinting then I would have liked, he asked for my number. For all you guys out there if a girl keeps smiling like a teenager around you and plays with her hair a lot, ask for her number, she is clearly hinting that she wants to go out with you and knows you will feel intimidated if she makes the first move. Anyway we went out and it was fun but nothing special enough where I could see a future but I thought we could still be friends. He ended up being just like Moses and would not take no for an answer and I ended up being convinced, somewhat afraid the plagues would start, that I could actually really like this guy…. this is when yet another mistake was made. OY VEY!! I went into a Disney princess movie singing original songs about true love and happily ever after when I should have realized one simple thing.
MEN AREN’T PERFECT!! Even if you have the most amazing romantic storybook date, be careful not to start planning your wedding and home décor quite yet. Don’t confuse being sweet with being a perfect match; instead look at all aspects of the date whether good or bad. Yes he may be tall, dark and handsome with a great sense of humor but he is also afraid of commitment and refuses to hold your hand in public. These things can be turned around but it is not your job to fix every man that has an issue. Truly analyze what you want and don’t settle because you are lonely or haven’t been held in awhile. Trust me a shumk is not worth the schlep!
So here are some tips…. if you really like a guy delete his number from your phone right after the date. No this doesn’t make you a female dog or means you don’t care…it is saving you from embarrassing yourself by making excuses why he is not texting you so you can text him even more. This way if he doesn’t contact you, you know it wasn’t meant to be and you can get out with you dignity in tact. Also don’t take it personally if you don’t ever hear from Mr. Wonderful. It is not you, it’s him…yes that is not just a line…it’s true. Sometimes no matter if you have the looks of Megan Fox and the personality of Drew Barrymore, if a guy is not ready to have a steady girl in his life, the relationship would go down hill anyway. So keep your head held high and know that you are a smart, strong woman and you are sexy enough to be a serial dater. After all the best remedy to being ignored is to be wined and dined by a new cutie. So no I have not given up on finding my perfect sexy Jew but for now I am open to having fun with the goyim…at least until the family starts to realize they need some little additions to the tribe…thank Adonai I am only 21…MAZEL TOV!
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