The Single Train

So the hot guy fantasy ended up being just that, a fantasy.  For some reason because he looked like a Disney prince and seemed agreeable to try new things, I made Tarzan out to be Prince William (minus the balding).  Trust me when I say Tarzan I am referring to a caveman because this sexy man grunts.  I am not kidding!  Every time we would make out, he would back away, stare at me and then grunt with a deep, short sound of approval.  If that weren’t enough to make me want to leave the jungle, he would walk ahead of me constantly, pet my leg as if it were a dog when he was stressed and kiss me like I was a fish he needed to resuscitate.  Once again I made a big mistake.  The same mistake that every girl make whether they want to believe it or not.  What happens when we are so uncomfortable being alone in a world that seems virtually paired off, that we jump at the chance to have a companion? 

Well the answer is simple; we find the horse drawn carriage with the crash test dummy inside.  If not being alone is our main motivation for finding a partner, then we better prepare for a long, lonely journey ahead.  They say that love always happens when you least expect it.  So ladies stop not expecting it!  By saying you are not going to expect it and you are going to focus on you, you are just giving yourself permission to subconsciously expect something.  With that being said, here is the love in my tough love rant.  Don’t focus on yourself but a new project that makes you happy.  This way you are tricking your brain into thinking you are just creating a new past time when in reality you are finding yourself. 

With the end of summer approaching and relationship season beginning, be proud to be on the single train.  After all, you could reach an amazing destination when you least expect it.

Blast to the Past

So I have been bitten by a bug.  This tiny, almost invisible creature has turned me back into a giddy, overly talkative, nervous teen and I have a new crush. 

From the perspective of my 16-year-old self:

Trust me I am not lying when I say he is only the hottest guy in school.  Tall, creamy olive skin, bright green eyes, dimples that make you weak in the knees and a smile that would make even Elvis himself swoon.  Plus, he Is a foreign exchange student from Canada!!  I mean how hot is that!!  He even has an accent!!  If that wasn’t enough, the dreamboat asked me to the prom!  I am still waiting to wake up from this wonderful dream…the most gorgeous specimen I have ever laid eyes on skipped over the cheerleaders, the dance team and the cute overachievers to ask out the drama nerd.  OMG!

The funny thing is it is five years later and for some reason this one guy has made me feel like that frizzy haired, nerdy girl all over again.  I have found myself bringing him up in conversation by remembering some topic of interest we shared.  I mean I actually get butterflies with him.  Well as much as I secretly wish life would end up like a 80s chick flick, all I can do is wish for the best.  So Mr. Charming, please be nice and give the nerd a chance?

The Reality of a Dream

The typical sappy click flick always portrays a guy who is incredibly good looking but still modest and a girl who is sweet but passive in telling the hunk how she feels about him.  This however results in the guy suddenly realizing he is lost without the girl who has been there all along and right before she moves on with her life, he sweeps her ff her feet and they live happily ever after.  Now I used to dream about the day my best guy friend would realize that I was the right girl for him but after 8 years of having a romantic relationship in my blissful imagination, I realized that only the first part of the movie is true.  The chances are that you will not get the most popular guy in school or the guy that every girl is head over heels for.  What is true is that the more you stress over what is wrong with you, the more you will forget to stop and smell the roses.  So instead of zoning out in class to daydream about you and Freddy Prince Jr. in “She’s All That,” actually pay attention in class and look next to you at the friend that deserves your energy.  The second you figure out what and who is important…well let’s just say life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it ;)

Summer Lovin

So I have taken 2 months off from writing about my dating adventures and I have to say these have been an eventful 2 months.  I started dating one of my best friends, considered just having a sugar daddy, met a guy with horse teeth and found a gorgeous man who got me to say about like a canadian!  Every time I say I am going to not date and focus on myself I end up being sucked back in by a tall dark and handsome man whose kiss makes me weak in the knees.  So I am not making any plans....i am just going to lean on friends and see where life takes me.  After all isn't the journey half the fun of getting there?

The Chase

Dear readers,

I have a confession to make...I have considered dating again.  I know I was going to take the summer to just focus on me but who says I can't have a little fun as well.  Although the brief time off did give me insight into the thrill of the chase.  See every girl secretly wants to be the one that the guy will change for but what we have to realize is a guy will change because she inspires him to be a better person, not because she has changed him.  You can't change a person, only influence their lives. 

So with this in mind I have realized that I go for all these jerks because the chase is fun.  The guy that won't give any girl the time of day is the one you want to want you so you can teach him a lesson.  The only problem is no matter how hard you try you cannot be a different person.  As much as I can be this tough confident serial dater, I am still a nuturing, sweet mama bear.  All you honestly have to do is stay true to yourself and if they don't like it then you know you didn't waste your time!

You see I have been inspired...it is amazing that in only a few short days someone has come out of nowhere to alter my path.  Who is this mystery man you ask?  Well I guess you will have to just stay tuned to find out...

Having a Heart

Every guy loves the fun girl.  You know the girl in the bar who is having a blast by herself, not caring what people think.  The girl who can walk up to any guy and introduce herself but doesn’t feel the need to be all over him all night.  She is the ideal male fantasy, but she is also not real.  Yes that night she is the best of both worlds.  The girl who is a blast to hang out with but you don’t have to call the next day and she will still hang out again.  The problem is that this girl also has a heart. 

Men and women are DIFFERENT!!!  Heck even all women are different.  You can’t think what you would do in a situation and assume she will be thinking the same thing.  While men are fairly simple; we don’t call because we truly are busy, I really do have other plans and I need to just have a night alone.  Women will analyze every text, message, conversation and action.  We don’t even mean to, it is just the way we are made.  So while the girl is having a great time in the bar, continue seeing her and she will start trying to figure things out.

How do we solve these differences?  Well women don’t overanalyze.  If you are truly ready to date a guy make sure you are secure enough in your life and yourself to not look into his every move.  Define yourself, don’t let a guy define you.  Also never be afraid to just say I need to be alone to figure out what I want.  This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, it is just a natural stage of life.  Now for the guys, all you have to do is be honest.  Don’t worry about hurting a girl, by being honest you will lessen the heartbreak.  If you are really not that interested don’t lead her on because you are afraid of hurting her feelings, it hurts more when she gets her hopes up. 

So I am going to focus on me for a little bit…who knows maybe I truly will find my knight in shining armor when I least expect it.

Taking a Break

So it has been almost 3 months since I started entertaining the world with stories of funny dates and witty realizations, but the time has come to start taking things seriously.  The truth is that writing about being stood up and rejected has made me look on the bright side of the situation but i can't ignore the pain anymore.  The time has come for this serial dater to reevaluate.  So here is the new challange...not date for the whole summer.  It is going to be hard but a much needed change.  So wish me luck...more updates will be coming soon.

Date #10: Running Full Force Toward Fate

There are signs when dating a guy that clearly outline how the events of the relationship will go.  First of all, if a guy cancels on you for any reason and does not automatically reschedule, red flag.  If he texts you and sounds a little less than enthused to be talking to you, red flag.  If he mentions wanting a relationship and being confused in the same sentence, red flag.  If only I caught these rd flags right away.  I decided to go out with this guy who looked like a nerd version of Justin Timberlake.  He was sweet, seemed genuine and took me on one of the most entertaining dates I have ever been on!  A little note for all you guys out there, the overly romantic thing is nice occasionally, so is the typical movie and dinner.  However, if you really want to capture a girl’s heart take her bowling and to a carnival.  You get to be the hero by winning her a prize and get to show her your skills as well as touch her by teaching bowling techniques.  So I was supposed to go on a third date with this guy and was seriously thinking about whether I wanted to give up my fabulous life of dating, excitement and freedom up.  He ended up calling me and saying that he didn’t think we should talk or see each other again without any real explanation.  So here I was Thursday night with no date and nothing to do, until I remembered the night before I went on a date and he invited me to a get together with his friends tonight.  I texted him and thought at least I wouldn’t be alone tonight.  Little did I realize but that one night would change my outlook completely.  One night full of beer pong, flip cup and homemade movies made me finally grasp that this was the guy I was willing to completely commit to.  There was no pondering the pros and cons of committing.  There was no worrying about losing my freedom by dating one guy and one guy alone.  There only was the feeling of belonging.  Now I can’t say that he is the one or even if we will end up in a relationship, but what I do know is I can be myself around him and that is an amazing start. 

So no worries avid readers, I am still going to be a serial dater for at least a little bit longer and even after that I promise to give you all the juicy details of dating dos and don’ts.  There just may be some relationship advice thrown in.  So the lesson of the day is the best things will happen when you least expect it. So have fun, live life to the fullest and you will be blessed with prince charming even if it takes you being stood up to realize it.

The R Word

From the beginning we have been taught that we find someone we have an interest in, we date them, we get in a relationship, we get married, we start a family and then the circle of life starts all over again.  This has been true for centuries but with times changing and the methods of meeting people becoming less traditional, why can’t we change the way we think about the R word?  We need to dissect RELATIONSHIPS.

First we must look at the anatomy of the relationship.  It starts one morning in bed when your brain starts to trigger signals telling you that you are alone.  The brain then sends a key to the heart unlocking it and allowing some fresh air into the resting chamber.  You go out and date around and a wall of post-its go on the bulletin boards of your brain until one slips to your heart and the door closes again making it official that you and this other person are one complete unit. 

This is the typical process but what if you meet someone online, through speed dating, using a matchmaking service or by going out to a bar.  These aren’t typical dating scenarios so why are we trying to make relationships stay the same?  I advice viewing relationships differently.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with one person and start a life together but the first steps to that need to be slightly revised.

First mistake is when someone says they are looking for a relationship.  This automatically puts pressure on having to know whether by the second date if it will lead to marriage or not.  Instead, view it as I am going out with this person because I enjoy their company and want to be around them more.  This takes the pressure off and makes everything flow more naturally.  The next and biggest mistake is excess communication.  Everyone needs their own life and to be able to have “me” time.  Allow the other person to miss you because the time you both are apart is the time when you will truly become aware of your feelings.  Now don’t get me wrong, I still don’t believe in the 3-day rule, but just live your life and when you feel you want to see how the other person is doing or share a funny story that happened during the day, go ahead and do that. 

So I am not saying I am about to settle down and stop my serial dating ways anytime soon, but I love good company and will continue to strive to find it!

Date #9: Toy Soldier

This weekend I truly had an eye-opening experience.  I went out to the club with two of my roommates and four of my roommate’s friends, so it was a true girls night out.  Well we all started at the bar and got a drink, but after a couple I got bored and went to the dance floor to brave the sea of sweaty bodies alone.  I started dancing and turned my radar on to find the cutest guy there and walk right up to him in order to claim him as my life size Ken doll for the night.  I spotted this one guy who looked a little tipsy but sober enough to get a good dance out of.  Well after a few attempts of trying to dance with him and him being rhythm deficient and clearly more interested in the bromance with the guy next to him, I gave up.  At this point when a sexy moron rejects you all you can do is get it on with your bad self and dance like no one is watching.  I was shaking it like a saltshaker when I look to my right and see this guy who at first glace I would come to the conclusion that he was a badass.  He had a shaved head, strong jaw and sleeves of tattoos on his arms.  I figured I didn’t need to get rejected my another ass so I kept dancing alone until I saw him smile and all of the sudden he turned into this sweet little boy who just got a kiss from his first crush.  So I thought what the heck and started to dance with him, and dance with him and an hour later I was still dancing with him.  I probably would have danced with him longer but my roommate tapped my shoulder and informed me we were going to relocate for the rest of the night.  I told him reluctantly I had to leave and he said he would come with me.  The rest of the night he was holding my hand, kissing my cheek and proving me wrong every second of my initial judgment of him.  So he got my number and asked me to hang out the next evening! 

Before we continue there is a very important fact you need to know about him.  He is in a special force group of the army and this was his last weekend in Reno before he went back to his base in Tennessee.  

Anyway we hung out the next night and it was going amazing.  He was as sweet as ever and even ditched his buddies for me.  This is where I became aware of exactly what army wives, fiancés and girlfriends go through.  In the middle of the date he got a text and told me he had to take me home.  I learned later that he was called into a briefing and found out he had to leave in an hour on a mission.  I was in shock.  I mean I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him and had no clue when I would see him again.

So the lesson here is don’t assume someone is going to be a certain way based on their appearance.  I got the most amazing experience with a man I was about to write off because he had tattoos.  Give every guy a fair chance and it is okay if you don’t pursue someone because the attraction isn’t there, but if it is and you think they might be a douchebag, just talk to him and really figure it out.  You might be in for spicy surprise.

Date #8: Myth of the Type

 So when someone asks you, “what is your type?” what do you say?  Do you describe his appearance first?  His wonderful sense of humor?  His relationship with his family?  This concept of being able to describe your perfect mate, not knowing if they actually exist or not, has always baffled me.  If only there was a database to type in what exactly you wanted down to the exact shoe size, life would be so much easier, right?  I went on a dating site a couple months ago to research this concept.  If I can type in every detail of a man I should get my perfect match.  The funny thing is that what you want in a guy isn’t always what you need in a guy.  As a technologically advanced generation, we seek quick fixes, instant gratification, and initial bliss.  I was one of these people until I met Andrew, a Persian Jew from Los Angeles.  I met him by finally giving in to my parent’s wishes and joining the Mecca of Jewish dating sites…Jdate.  Although as a struggling college student I can’t afford to pay for it so I can only view profiles and accept instant messages when I am online.  Well low and behold I got an IM invitation from Andrew and that is where it all started.  He was completely different from what I considered to be my type but somehow I felt like he was the kind of guy I needed in my life.  No drama, no emotional baggage, no stress.  He was very intelligent and sweet and although I didn’t have the initial feeling of I want to make out with you here and now, it was even better because I was so attracted to him and still felt like I was worthwhile enough to have him.  I am still not sure where we are going as far as a future but this is my advice to all of you.

If a guy or girl approaches you, don’t blow them off right away because you are not wildly attracted to them.  Looks eventually fade anyhow and as you get to know them they can become more attractive to you anyway.  If a guy is worth your time he will do anything to be with you and see you happy.  So for now I am not jumping to any conclusions but he is flying 2 hours to visit me for a couple days and I can’t wait!!

Turning the Head

"Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants."

This is the most valuable advice I have heard, and it was in a movie about a Greek wedding.  Dating is a tricky board game filled with twists and turns but in the end you will always get to your destination...or you lose and just play again.  So for this post let's say girls are the shinny car and men are the big boot in Monopoly.  The boot stares at the car every day...he wants to touch her...drive her...have her.  The shinny car looks amazing from afar.  Finally the boot saves up enough change to take the car out for a spin.  He walks up to the car and is in complete awe until he realizes she has a dent.  Nothing big but it is in the front so people might notice.  Then she revs up her engine to purr like catwoman and he has to get and try her out.  Everyday after that he tests her out and finds one more thing that he likes until he eventually buys the car...game over!!!!   What does this have to do with dating you ask?  Well the key is to not reveal too much of yourself right up front.  If a guys asks “how are you?” in attempts to chat, don't start going on about your stressful day...if you had a rough day merely say "a little stressful, but that just means I need even more to meet someone to take the edge off."  This gives him an automatic in to want to save his pennies to buy your car.  

Now I hate stereotypes as much as the next person, but the bottom line is that men are the hunters and unless they have a bit of a chase to wear them down a little bit, they won't care enough to really try.  Here is where turning the head comes in.  You are a strong, independent, sophisticated, smart and sexy female.  You know what you want before a guy can get up the courage to ask for your number...so help him figure it out one digit at a time.  You can slowly progress the relationship along but make him think he is pursuing you.  For example if you want to see him but not seem like you are asking him out, hint there is a new restaurant he would like or a new movie he would love to see.  It puts the idea in his head and now he needs a date.  Mission Accomplished!!  

Lastly, just remember that most men are terrified of commitment.  This means if you start talking about the future too soon, he will run for the hills.  You need to make sure he is falling a little faster than you are. This way when he finally says he wants you to be exclusive, you know he means it rather than giving into pressure.  

Ladies, don't settle for anyone but Mr. Right!  Live your life, have fun, go out with the girls and when the right guy comes along make him fight for you!  Until then being a serial dater is not a bad alternative.  Hey at least you can find out what you don't want ;)

Date #7: Cougar Bait

I have often wondered about the draw of a younger man.  The reason Demi transformed for Ashton, how Taye got Stella her groove back and why the entire cast of Desperate Housewives got jiggy with it.  I needed to find out for myself and go into a land that I was unfamiliar with.  It was time to ditch the sexy sugar daddies and go into the wild jungles of the cougars.  According to About.com, a cougar is a women ages 35 and up who prays on men with a minimum of a 10-year age difference.  Okay you caught me...I can't technically be a cougar because in order to date younger guy the biggest age difference is three years or it is illegal...but gosh darn it I wanted to at least give it a shot.

Meet my spanish pool boy Eduardo.  A 19-year old surfer and model from sunny southern cali!  I had picked a perfect candidate...younger, hot, tan, dresses well and has a hot spot for older women.  We went out on a date and I felt like I was so cool, so sexy and so OLD.  Geez!!  I mean I felt like I needed to ask his parents permission to even bring up certain topics of conversation.  This is a classic case of the boy in the magazine...they are so pretty to stare at and your mind can wander off into the land of his ab creases against your finger tips...but as soon as you see an interview with him, the fantasy goes from 60 to zero in 3 seconds.  When people say children should be seen and not heard, they are referring to you pretty boy with an IQ of 25...use what you have and don't try to be anything else.

As much as these youngsters are not for me, I feel it is my civic duty to help all the single ladies who want a play toy to help them clear their minds.  So here is two tips when trying to snag a cub. Number 1: Make him feel mature.  If a boy is talking to a woman at least a few years his senior he wants to impress her with his mature nature....so if he doesn't get any of the references you bring up just let it go.  Number 2: Never respond to a one or two-word text message.  If he responds with "haha yeah" or "sounds good" or "idk when" put down the phone and wait for him to get the hint that he needs to continue on the conversation in order to get on your good side.  Cougar bait cubs need to be trained to follow orders but the plus is that they are already potty trained and tend to cave in easily.

So I can say I have tried the younger man and I think I will stick to the more mature males...at least until I am 35!

The Journey Thus Far

When I started this journey of serial dating, my main objective was to get over my ex...but as the first month of the path has flown by, I realize that I understand him now more then ever.  The reason we didn't work out was not because he was an ass or I was too clingy but merely we were too much alike.  When I met Jason I had just gotten out of a long strenuous relationship and attached onto Jason becasue I felt safe and comfortable.  Staying in my comfort zone made me settle and accept things the way they were.  When we met we were both going through a change and the process of self-discovery that comes with it.  That internal look into the depths of who we are led to long drawn out heartbreak and individual triumphs but still nothing in the cards that read we should be together.

I can honestly say for the first time in a long time that I am truly happy.  I no longer need to have male attention around me 24/7 but find it nice to have company from time to time....which for me is once a week...I am still a dating machine after all.  I have learned to take each date and each experience for what it is and not try to force it to be something else.  Yes I have had some amazing dates and some not so great ones, but at the end of a day each date, each guy has helped me reassue myself that I am a strong person who doesn't need to force herself on anyone.  And so with one month down and who knows how many to go, I want to say just one thing, thank you. 

Thank you to all of you who read my blog and tell me it makes you smile, thank you to all the guys who have taught me so much about life, thank you to those of you who have stuck by my side through all the hard times and most of all thank you to Jason...you are the reason I started this blog and the reason I have finally settled into the person I am today.

As for what is to come for a single woman on the prowl...well there is a lot more living to do and a lot more stories to tell.  Stay tuned because the best is yet to come!!

Date #6: Myth of a Bad Boy

“Just to let you know, I am an asshole.”  This was the pick up line that was used to engage my interest into the suave tall, dark and handsome man who wanted to dance at the club.  I am not sure if this line works on most girls but when I hear that a guy is a douchebag right out of the gate, my initial reaction is to run for the hills and not look back.  I decided he would be fun to banter with and following a few witty remarks back and forth and him clearly seeing that the bad boy act was not working, he started into the story of how he was trying to be better and how ashamed he is of his past endeavors.  This is when I realized that everything they say about the hot mysterious rebel is wrong. 

So for all you girls who want the badass follow these simple tips:

1.     1.  They are not as badass as they seem.  They give off this vibe of being unobtainable so that the females will try harder to get them therefore making the chase for them easy.  So what you do is talk to them like a normal person without being overly flirtatious or laughing like a hyena at all their jokes.

2.     2.  Never ask for their number or volunteer yours.  If a guy, especially a rebel wants to pursue you he will find a way to. 

3.    3.   Don’t worry about it.  If he doesn’t go though all the odds of the universe to try to pursue you, don’t worry about it.  Just know that he wasn’t worth your time anyway and he saved you a whole lot of heartache in the end.

4.   4.    Nice guys are sexy too!  I know the mystery of the bad boy is what makes you want them more than anything but in the end you will still be alone.  Give a nice guy a shot!  You may be surprised how sexy a caring, sweet man can be.

So the “asshole” who initially just viewed me as another conquest is still texting me but we will see if I will bite the bait or not.  This serial dater has found the secret to the bad boys and still has more research to do!

Cure for a Sweet Tooth

You know when you haven't had chocolate in a while and you get cravings like no tomorrow?  I mean you turn into a crazy killer on the loose about to murder some warm melted bliss.  Well you have so much that you are passed out on the floor with a tummy ache and chocolate all over you face and hair.  This is the point where you don't want to look at another piece of candy for months.  Well this serial dater has a bit of a tummy ache.

When I started in the dating world I was this optimistic bubbly girl excited about the magic of true love and fairy tales.  Now dating is starting to feel like work.  I have become immune to excitment over a date, a cute guy or even a sweet gesture.  First dates are easy.  You can charm any guy on a first date and have a romantic evening.  The trouble is holding onto that initial spark. 

For all you guys out there...the 3 day rule was made up by a guy who is 40 and still lives in his parent's basement.  DON'T FOLLOW IT!!!  It will build suspense but also leave the girl saying "whatever...I am over it."  If you truly like a girl don't be afraid to tell a girl you enjoy her company and can't wait to see her again.  This will make her think about you without wanting to throw her phone against the wall.  Now don't text her "what are you doing?" three times a day but a nice good morning or how are you is always appreiciated. 

So not to worry avid followers, I am not giving up serial dating.  It would just be nice to go on a second date once in awhile.  So I am sure I will want sweets again soon...for now I am going to do chocolate lite but will have that craving again I guarantee it!

Date #5: Super Jew 5000

I finally decided to make my parents happy and date a male from the tribe of our ancestors…I dated a Jew!  We met at a Jewish frat party, which a guy invited me to in my accounting class because he said I needed to meet a nice Jewish boy.  I swear no matter who you are, if you are Jewish you turn into a matchmaker wanting Jewish babies to be created.  So I was at the party and talking to every guy trying to figure out first of all if Moses was their homeboy and second if they were worth getting to know.  I finally came across a 6’2 cutie that had a Mohawk, which was clearly growing out, a huge smile and a friendly demeanor.  Throughout the night I was making the rounds and somehow ended up talking to him again and again.  So with more hinting then I would have liked, he asked for my number.  For all you guys out there if a girl keeps smiling like a teenager around you and plays with her hair a lot, ask for her number, she is clearly hinting that she wants to go out with you and knows you will feel intimidated if she makes the first move.  Anyway we went out and it was fun but nothing special enough where I could see a future but I thought we could still be friends.  He ended up being just like Moses and would not take no for an answer and I ended up being convinced, somewhat afraid the plagues would start, that I could actually really like this guy…. this is when yet another mistake was made.  OY VEY!!  I went into a Disney princess movie singing original songs about true love and happily ever after when I should have realized one simple thing. 

MEN AREN’T PERFECT!!  Even if you have the most amazing romantic storybook date, be careful not to start planning your wedding and home décor quite yet.  Don’t confuse being sweet with being a perfect match; instead look at all aspects of the date whether good or bad.  Yes he may be tall, dark and handsome with a great sense of humor but he is also afraid of commitment and refuses to hold your hand in public.  These things can be turned around but it is not your job to fix every man that has an issue.  Truly analyze what you want and don’t settle because you are lonely or haven’t been held in awhile.  Trust me a shumk is not worth the schlep!

So here are some tips…. if you really like a guy delete his number from your phone right after the date.  No this doesn’t make you a female dog or means you don’t care…it is saving you from embarrassing yourself by making excuses why he is not texting you so you can text him even more.  This way if he doesn’t contact you, you know it wasn’t meant to be and you can get out with you dignity in tact.  Also don’t take it personally if you don’t ever hear from Mr. Wonderful.  It is not you, it’s him…yes that is not just a line…it’s true.  Sometimes no matter if you have the looks of Megan Fox and the personality of Drew Barrymore, if a guy is not ready to have a steady girl in his life, the relationship would go down hill anyway.  So keep your head held high and know that you are a smart, strong woman and you are sexy enough to be a serial dater.  After all the best remedy to being ignored is to be wined and dined by a new cutie.  So no I have not given up on finding my perfect sexy Jew but for now I am open to having fun with the goyim…at least until the family starts to realize they need some little additions to the tribe…thank Adonai I am only 21…MAZEL TOV!

Single on V-Day

That day is finally here…the day of red and pink roses, chocolates, oversized teddy bears and mushy love songs….it is Valentine’s Day.  Also known as annual splurge day or the day created by the greeting card companies for revenue.  Either way it is a day that creates the perfect romantic setting if you have a special someone and brings even more awareness to your love life if you are single.  So for all you single ladies out there, put away the Ben and Jerry’s and celebrate the fact that you are completely free to do whatever you want when ever you want.  So instead of scrambling for a date, know that as a serial dater you can get a date whenever you want.  With that in mind this valentines day I am going to forgo letting a random date schmooze me and I am going to see a movie with my girls!  It is the ultimate revenge on a pointless holiday.  I am going to look hot and say that for the one day where having a date is everything, I will be Miss Independent and that is the true nightlife of a serial dater.

Key to maintaining a dating status

To anyone wanting to embark on the strenuous and exciting journey of serial dating be forewarned that this road may be a lonely one.  I know being this sophisticated woman about town is the ideal life with glamour, amazing clothes and fancy drinks with ridiculous names, but at the end of the day none of those will make you matzo ball soup when you get sick.

So key of wisdom #1…don’t be afraid to say “I need my mommy.”  I promise wanting someone to give you a hug and tell you how stupid your actions are is not sissy, but a lie detector and Snuggie all rolled into one complete package.  Not only do you get some humble pie when having to admit someone else is right, but also you get the loving teddy bear that will never leave your side. 

Key of wisdom #2…get a best friend of the opposite sex.  I am not talking about a friend who you occasionally make out with when you are drunk, although those are nice sometimes.  No I am talking about an I need your advice, I want to eat like a pig, I don’t care if you see me without makeup friend.  You need a best gay!  I mean it!  Think of any great team out there….Grace has Will, Mercedes has Kurt and Snow White has seven little men…all you need is a bestie that bats for the other team to complete you dating trifecta.  If you still aren’t convinced imagine a fashion guru, boy shopper, fake date, sensitive cuddle buddy who is extremely blunt, won’t have a motive to get into your pants (at least not while you are wearing them) and will always notice what you wish a straight guy would.  Trust me, if you are ever feeling down go to a gay bar and you will be getting a slew of “girl you look fierce” and “I would so go straight for you” all night long.  Have no fear serial daters and aspiring serial daters out there, follow these 2 keys and you will be on your way to becoming a Sex in the City gal in no time!!!

Date #4: Downfall of a serial dater

The number one rule of serial dating is never ever, NEVER EVER get attached. All of the sudden the butterflies come in and you turn into a clingy pre pubescent girl who just got told a guy likes her for the first time. This sucks, trust me. It is best when dealing with the art of dating to never get that excited after a first date. Even if he looks like your favorite Ken doll growing up and has the charm of George Clooney, become to into him and he will split faster than your brother can rip off Ken’s head.
Meet Kevin, a 32-year-old teacher and photographer who is easy on the eyes and has the heart melting dimples that seem to be my kryptonite. We went out on a date and I wasn’t expecting too much but low and behold it was one of the best dates ever. We first went to an Asian restaurant, I say Asian because I am not sure if it was Chinese or Vietnamese, etc., which was delicious. We actually ordered almost the same meal, which is a clear sign from cupid that we are compatible. Then we decided to go to a movie, which is sweet, and then he said he wanted to see “No Strings Attached” which is even sweeter! I mean what guy actually enjoys chick flicks and is straight! I was sold and if that wasn’t enough while waiting for the movie we went to my favorite coffee shop and played cards for 2 hours!! The night ended with a sweet kiss and the hope of another magical meeting in the works soon…this is when I realized my downfall. I started to become the smitten stereotype you think only exists in movies. I became the dorky, fashion less, awkward girl that I spent all of high school and most of college thus far trying to steer clear of. This is when my subconscious decided to pay me a visit and I will graciously share that advice with all of you females readers out there.
So for all you ladies out there that would rather be the one saying “it’s over” rather than being stood up follow this simple tip. To date a man, date like a man. Confused are you? Well when you think of a guy dating he wants what is unobtainable and will settle for what is in front of him until the Greek goddess is his. The main point to be a successful serial dater is merely to not care. Sounds too easy to be true but it is the one thing that puts us on Venus and them on Mars. So for once in my life I am going to follow my own advice and cest la vie. I am a free spirit with fun and carefree drive on the mind and I am about to light up this town.

Date #3 Vegan Chapstick

What is the best remedy to get over a boyfriend? My strategy was by completely staying away from the male sex altogether. Yes, I had my moment of curiosity, a fixation on a different set of curves, a liking for something sweet. In the words of Katy Perry, “I kissed a girl and I liked it.”


I met the most adorable and intriguing woman I had ever laid eyes on at a coffee shop. She was flirtatious, feminine and had that edge that just make you want to know more. She was my invitation into a whole new world, the world of the vegan cuties that liked Katy’s song too. I was like a kid that took a trip to New York and went into the incredible 3-floored M & M wonderland store for the first time. All I could say was WOW! I felt like I was being accepted no questions asked. All of the sudden being her arm candy made me the desirable female on everyone’s mind. She made me feel worth something, like I didn’t have to dress up or have perfect hair to be sexy! Just when I thought I could go without the male race forever, I realized men and women aren’t as different as I was hoping. She suddenly stopped texting me and I found out through facebook again that she had a new girlfriend. Just my luck…thanks facebook for crushing my hopes and dreams…I guess I am straight after all.

Date #2 Mr. Invisible

I finally said yes to go on a date with a guy my age!  He seemed sweet and adorable...plus he was a business major so I knew he was smart!!  So I was supposed to meet him in front of the student union but he didn't show up...back to older guys!

Date #1: Hurricane Hands

This one started as something out of Cinderella.  He was my childhood friend who had come back to confess his undying love for me and romanced me until I was in a bubble of fairy dust.  I mean who doesn’t have the fantasy of meeting up with your childhood friend later in life once you have gone through the awkward phases of braces, bad fashion, bad odors and crazy hormones.  You can come back super hot and walk around saying “what now bizznatch!!!” to everyone who called you anything but sexy earlier in life.  So he took me to a wonderful restaurant and we had a steak dinner with baked potatoes and some wine.  I don’t care if that makes me less lady like but the way to a girl’s heart in my opinion is a nice steak.  It was the perfect romantic evening…the conversation flowed, he was as adorable as ever and I think I ate with my mouth closed…absolute perfection.  We left the restaurant, got into his car, drove back to my place and my heart was beating anticipating a soft, sweet goodnight kiss.  I definitely got more than I bargained for because he had hurricane hands.  For those of you who are not familiar with this term, imagine a good kiss…his hand is on the small of your back, maybe running his fingers along your arm as your hands are around his neck.  Now imagine his hands running all over your back, neck, legs, face in 0.2 seconds….you literally feel like you are entering a windstorm.  Thank goodness I have a good amount of strength and was able to escape the car of doom. 

This just proves that the perfect guy on paper can be ruined with the lack of kissing knowledge…on to the next one…

The Revelation of Letting Go

"You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need"

Somehow this is easier said than done but it is more true than any other fact in life.  We will always go for what we want first.  Whether it is the new laptop, the new dress or the hot guy...if it is in front of us we for some reason hear it begging us to buy, wear or date it.  But what we don't realize is the need for it.  The fact that we already have a working laptop, a closet full of dresses and the hot guy has nothing in common with you.  Instead of looking at things as new desires, look at them as chemicals.  Putting the chemicals in that your body needs like positive people, good music and self esteem are our needs.  Now filter out the bad chemicals like poor company, abusive relationships and needing acceptance and you can finally have a healthy purpose in life. 

At this point I feel like I have finally gotten off the roller coaster, I am still in that throw up, nausiated phase, but at least it is over with.  I can finally start to heal!  Keep your eyes open becasue with this new outlook the serial dater is on the loose and ready to start living!

Lies Lies Lies

So if the suspense of why I was blocked is killing you...i have answers!  Turns out my ex is in a new relationship...I know it is shocking!!  Just 4 days ago I had a phone conversation with him with him telling me how he is still figuring himself out and is so overwhelmed with everything in his life.  I guess a new girl to lead into a sea of romantic bliss takes a lot of time...especially when you have to think at the same time how you are going to mess it up.  What happens when the best thing you ever had is replaced with someone who is starting a journey with him, only to figure out he was telling a younger version of you he wanted her one week ago.  Good luck future ex...with this roller coaster you will need it!

Given the Boot

He blocked me on Facebook...really now?!  I mean of all things someone could do to say, "hey I am done with you" or "we need to move on" but blocking me on Facebook!!?  I mean how old are we...well how old is he...this just shows no matter what age, they are still a douchebag!  AHHHH!!!!

You know as much as I finally get the hint now, I still remember the first time I knew I had fallen for him.  It was my second week in town and I was hinting all over the place about how I had never been to Lake Tahoe and was dying to go.  He picked me up in the early afternoon on a beautiful August day with an umbrella and picnic basket in tow.  Everything in the basket was carefully picked out and preparred to guarantee I would enjoy it.  The water, even for August, was ice cold and so we held on to each other the entire time to keep some warmth.  Then we layed on the sand in each other's arms watching the sunset...It really doesn't get anymore fairy tale than that.  At that point I knew I would do anything for this man because I saw just how special and unique he was.  The funny thing about wanting someone so bad is you never prepare for them not wanting you back, you just fall deeper and deeper.  Part of me would give anything to go back to those early days when I was so blissfully happy but that's the funny thing about life, you can't go back only learn from it and move on.

In the famous words of Forrest Gump..."life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Well I have done the incredibly sweet white chocolate and the popular milk chocolate so I think it is time to sink my teeth into some bitter, yet irresistable dark chocolate bliss! Watch out boys, I am back in full swing and with a sweet tooth for desire!

The ship had officially sailed

I am strong...I am strong...I AM STRONG!!! somehow saying it over and over again will make it true. It is the end of a saga, the roller coaster romance, the mystical unicorn hunk. I can't believe I finally did it! After 5 months of wonderful seduction, followed by being stood up, followed by being sucked back in to the sweet kisses, followed by being cancelled on 5 minutes before meeting. It is all over for good! I finally realize I deserve better and now the real dating can begin...watch out world because the serial dater is coming out on the town and everyone better watch out because her bark is seductive and her bite is addicting.




xoxo ToGood



haha just kidding...but you have to admitt is it a hell of a tagline

Becoming a Serial Dater

How is the best way to get over an ex? This was the exact same question I asked myself laying in my bed alone 2 months after my boyfriend broke up with me.  Yes it has taken 2 months for me to even propose the question of moving on.  Trust me I am not proud of it but it isn’t something that happens overnight and after all it was a death so I had to go through the grieving process, right? No, I am wrong, I am just making excuses because I am still in love with my ex.  Shit, I sound absolutely pathetic, I need to embark on a new journey of getting my mind off of the handsome piece of man that keeps luring me back into his charming web of passion.  I need to date.  Not just one guy, but all guys.  It no longer can matter if they are hot or successful or wise beyond their years, any guy is fair game.  I promise you there is a method to my madness.  I haven’t been able to pick Mr. Right going according to my list of credentials or my past records, so by dating all over the map, I will end up running into Mr. Right without even knowing it…I hope. 

The Ex

The storybook romance, the click flick that every girl wishes they could have, the knight in shining armor and yet the devil in disguise.  I moved to Reno Nevada to go school and get as far away from home and constant reminders of high school drama, crappy friends and douche bag guys as I could.  So I get off the plane in Reno with my mother and my guitar in tow excited to have a whole new scene of hot available men at my fingertips.  Obviously with this being my first time away from home and in a new city I had the streets are paved with gold fantasy.  Anyway we get off of the plane and drive to the hotel in which we will be staying while getting acquainted with this small city before moving into my dorm.  I am from Pasadena, CA so anywhere smaller than a huge city is small town to me.  We finally pull up in the rental car which we got lost 2 times because enterprise GPS systems hate me and I get out of the car to help with the bags thanking the lord the journey was over, if only I knew that when the valet guy turned around a whole new journey would begin.  Meet Jason, a 35-year-old valet from Reno who was the opposite of my type and yet he was the most intriguing individual I have ever laid eyes on.  He had the valet uniform on, a baseball cap and the most adorable dimples I had ever seen (except for Mario Lopez but that is a whole different story).  We casually chatted as he helped me with my bags and then he disappeared into the sea of cars like a rare unicorn in Narnia.  I just want it to be known that I was 20 and had no clue how old he was at this point…so stop judging me!

The Ex-ecution

The next morning the plan to get all the stuff to make my half of my dorm room as chic as possible is set into motion.  My mom and I get downstairs at about 9:30am looking quite fabulous and all of the sudden a valet guy, clearly not Jason, approaches us, takes out ticket and starts running to get our car.  A couple minutes later our car emerges and so does Jason.  I didn’t realize the valet service became a team effort but I was willing to go with it.  Jason walks up to me with a clear agenda sticks out his hand and says, “I don’t want you to think I am being to forward which is why I am doing this in front of your mom, but here is my number in case you need anything.” Then he slips this bright yellow luggage tag in my hand with his name and a phone number.  I smiled said I would hold onto it and chucked it in my purse clearly not caring if it got lost.  Heck, even as adorable as he seemed to be I was in a new city and single and really to goddamn mingle.  So I went on with my day until fate stuck its nose into my business. 

The Fate Monster

So we went on our way to continue our adventure of buying cute yet sensible items for my dorm at Target.  I swear the Target was on the run from the cops because it was the hardest thing to find and once again with the GPS hatred of college girls we were on our own.  So we finally made it there and realized we had no clue where we were or how to get back.  All of the sudden my mother had a brilliant plan of using the number I had in my purse and tried to avoid.  So I called and waited for the last ring when he finally picked up.  I got directions from him and then my mother had another brilliant plan to invite him to dinner to thank him for his assistance.  He obviously accepted and this is where the roller coaster begins.